This morning I woke up with pain shooting up my back. I was attempting to outsleep the alarm clock and decided to stay in bed even though I knew I should get up to prepare for a flight departing in a few hours. Hindsight being what it is, had I gotten up when I should have, I wouldn't have this lesson to share.
Morning back pain upon waking isn't new to me, so I began to employ my usual tactics. I contorted my body, trying to stretch the pain out. Turning my head in the opposite direction of my body until I could feel some relief. Nada..no relief.
Next, I turned from side to side and tried lying on my stomach. After noticing my tossing, turning, and obvious discomfort, my husband offered to massage the pain away. Usually, one or all of these tactics would have worked - but today - nothing. Not even a combination of my tried, and true methods gave me any relief.
And still, I lay there. It wasn't that I was still tired so much as I was being lazy and didn't want to leave the comfort of my bed or the comforting hands of my husband. I figured the pain would subside at some point, and I could enjoy a few more minutes before my travel day started.
However, more time passed, and it became clear that the pain would not subside. "Fuck it," I thought, "let's just get this day started."
And almost immediately, the pain began to dissipate. I stretched, and with it came more relief. I took a hot shower. And even more relief. The more I moved around, the more comfort I found. And then it hit me.
I was attempting to heal in the same place that hurt me. It wasn't until I got out of bed and became more active that any of the things I was using to remedy the pain became effective. In addition, I discovered additional remedies (the shower, a deeper stretch from standing, and a few Advil) that were out of reach and inaccessible while I was still in bed.
**Me looking up at sky daddy** "You sure do have a way of teaching lessons, don't you," I said to Him.
As I rode to the airport, I reflected on how I've seen this play out in my life and the lives of others. Time and again, choosing comfort over progress. Clinging to things, people, beliefs, and behaviors that keep us hurt, our growth stifled, and our lives and relationships unfulfilled. This was a powerful reminder not to ignore the moments of discomfort that compel me to move and do something different.
So here is what I got from this aha moment:
The Decision - I made a decision to stay in bed. I could have gotten up at any time. I CHOSE not to because I didn't want to leave the comfort of my bed. Had I taken a moment to think about what I should do versus what I wanted to do, I would have gotten out of bed sooner and relieved my pain. My decision not to move extended my discomfort and delayed my relief.
The Ineffective Tried & True - Even though my tried and true remedies to alleviate back pain usually work, I had no success this time. This reminded me that sometimes the things we rely upon in one season aren't helpful in another. When the things that generally work for us stop working, it's often a sign that something in us needs to mature or evolve…its time to grow and shift!
Reality Check Yo Self - Perhaps the most essential part of healing is accepting your role in your pain. If everything you dislike about your life is due to everyone but yourself, you'll create a life you'll always want to escape. There is no one situation I have found myself in, whether from my actions or inaction, where I didn't have some culpability in creating and didn't have the FULL ability to change. Course correction is an inside-out exercise.
Take Action - Equally as important as accepting your role in your pain is taking steps to move out of it. You must take the necessary steps to move from where you are to where you hope to be. And that's not always inherently clear….but it doesn't matter. Where you want to be will always be out of reach if you never take a step forward to bring you closer.
The Discovery - The most significant of this aha moment was realizing all the tools I needed were out of sight but within reach. I just needed to get up and walk through the bathroom door. Sometimes, what we need is so close to us, but we can't see it because we're choosing a position that keeps it out of sight and out of reach.
Dat's it. That's all I got. I hope it blessed you as it blessed me. I'm about to make sure I am not trying to find comfort in things that can keep me broken while trying to be whole and healed.
Love,
PurposelyFearless
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